I must decrease so that He may increase.

Well this entry comes late but still in due time. The last entry I wrote in January, I did not realize the truth in such a real way until after I wrote it out.

I must decrease so that He may increase

And so God began to clean out my glass, I believe what hurts the most about a cleaning process is first of all we are so content in our dirty state. It's like we have become so used to the comfort of the shape, and hey the water is running through just fine, to us. We don't even realize that we need to be cleaned out. Second thing that is hard, I believe in order to clean the glass out He must close for a while the flood gate of his living water, I believe this is why we as Christians wake up out of the blue and feel as if God has left us even though we know

that it is written:
He will never leave us nor forsake us

It is hard when you feel like God has shut off His living water to you, for me I became anxious of everything you could imagine, I felt how can God get glory out of my life when I am dry and have not enough water for my own self. How am I to give to others? How is his living water to overflow when I am dry? How can I bring glory to God with my life. I began to feel like I was ill having a fast heart rate and pains all over to the point of imagining myself ill thinking surely God is going to bring me back to him through an illness. This sprang up fear in me like you wouldn't believe. I can write myself out a diagnostic list a page long with all the F.E.A.R.s that I had.and God is still continually helping me to overcome them

FEAR
False Evidence About Reality

Although this seems like a long process, and I guess it is as Gods children, we will constantly be being molded into the image of Christ which is Gods finished product for us. as vessels we will constantly be emptied out scraped clean and refilled. The glorious part of it is every time that God scrapes us out we become larger on the inside, able to hold more of his living water and able to overflow at a greater distance. I imagine that when he scrapes the inside clean and the livingwater has cleaned the clay . He begins to shape the clay changing the shape of our vessel into a larger more glorious piece that he can use to fill with living water that overflows. I can picture God taking vessels turning them into pitchers because we are but a piece of clay in the potters hand. And using these pitchers to pour his living water which saves and washes away sin all over the world.

This to me is a picture of his grace and his Glory, and how he uses ordinary people to do his extraordinary work

For me He is cleaning me out of pride: showing me that anything he does in my life is by His Grace and for His glory , not anything I deserve from all the hell I've lived through which by grace he brought me through anyways, not because I had a strong faith not because he wants to show anyone who I am, It's not about me, or for me. It's by his grace and for his glory.
He also dealt personally with me on time I get very overwhelmed with time so many good things I want to do or just normal everyday things like eat shower feed kids teach Christopher cook clean exercise go to dr. apmts. the list goes on and on. I began to think How is God going to find time to use me. I don't have time to be used. Here's what he showed me. not only if we are walking with him he is constantly using us even if we neither feel nor realize it. But he made this world this whole world out of nothing in a matter of seconds by the sound of his voice. If he can do that who am I to doubt he can't turn out his work through me or anyone else in a matter of a life time. However I do find it interesting that although he spoke the world into existence in a matter of seconds, he chose to marvel gaze and enjoy it for a whole day before making the next step.

For me God is still working because all I am is a sinner saved only by his grace. He will constantly be working on me until the day of Christ Jesus.

Heres a verse I have been declaring over my life that has brought me Joy

Philippians 1:6

Being confident of this that,He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus