"In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to his plan who works out everything in comformity with the purpose of his will"

This verse comes from Ephesians 1:11. I chose to share it with you because this is what God has made real to me in my life. I would like to share with you bits and pieces of my life so you can understand the dark tunnel in which I feel I have been led, And why I believe God is my light.
First, let me explain why it is so dark right now. I was scheduled to be married on March 17th to the man , I honestly feel God has said will be my husband. Russell and I have known each other since we were 11. We have three beautiful children together. We both love the outdoors, spending time with our children,cooking out, fishing, camping, and good family fun. We have practically grown up together and we've experienced every stage of life with each other. If you added up the years we've known each other, we have known each other 17 yrs. That's a long time. It hasn't been easy but God has granted us his mercy and grace to keep going with out giving up.
In this 17 years God has given me the strength to stand beside this man through approx five rehabs, countless sentences in jail , drug and alcohol addiction and many adversaries,including three canceled weddings. I don't want to be negative, but I don't want to sugar coat what is not sweet. There have been moments when I questioned God for allowing this pain in my life. One thing he has always shown me is with every adversary my love only grew stronger. When this is the opposite of what the world teaches, the opposite of what our human heart desires. I was raised in church. I was raised to love everyone, but to keep away from trouble. But for some God forbidden reason I was drawn to Russell. I loved him!! I knew it!
Thats just like Gods love for us. He loves the unlovely. He loves the unlovable. He loves those that persecuted him, He loves us all even with our short-comings. I started to find comfort in the fact that "God gave me this love for Russell" and it must be for a reason, maybe to fulfill his purpose in my life. And just maybe he wanted me to experience first hand the sacrificial love of Christ. I knew I would experience some pain, but as long as God chose to leave this love in my heart I agreed not to fight it.
I realized it is actually a privilege to have a problem in life which, forces you to walk hand in hand with Jesus, to lean on his side, and experience true love in his power. As children of God we share in his sufferings so that we also may share in his Glory!!